I Never Finish Anything

BUT that's going to change.. if you know me well, you know I am full of good intentions and even better ideas... however those ideas generally never come into fruition.. I make the plan, I get the required components together and A LOT of the time it never gets out of the design/imagination stage.. let alone finished... so around my house I have various projects all in the stages of infancy... I'm pretty sure it drives my DH absolutely mad, not to mention it wastes a lot of money!
Let me give you some examples...

1. Sophia's baby feet wall hanging (feet stamped, canvas designed... not put together, which would take about 30 minutes!)
2. Coloured buckets (thought I would do my own take on Sophia's Easter bucket.. but for another use.. if it comes out well I could attempt to sell them "gasp" (I have the bucket, the sandpaper, the spray paint, the design.... all the components just sitting there)
3. I have eleventybillion scrapbook style greetings cards ready to be made.. you know when I had the plan to make all my Birthday/Christmas/New baby cards.. and made like ONE (I have a whole cupboard full of scrapbooking stuff (various designs/holidays etc) to aid me in this task)
4. My lawn furniture needs weather-proofing.. I have the stuff to do it.. even got to the point of cleaning and prepping it... AND then didn't do it... oh well it'll be going into winter storage out of the elements soon...!
5. My Easter decorations are still prominently displayed in the entryway... and we are less than 100 days from Christmas..
6. Oh and not to forget the fact that we moved into our house over nine months ago and I still have boxes to unpack (we're not just talking 1 or 2 either.. oops!)

these are just ones from the top of my head, going around house in detail I am sure I could find a lot more half finished "projects"

Well no more I tell you..... recently I have been getting better... this isn't something that I can cure overnight... but so far I'm doing OK... I finished weeding my garden (not that you can ever REALLY finish weeding), after rescuing my bedding plants from the life sapping clutches of the green tendrils, wiping my brow and declaring a "job well done" I walked back around to the front and saw something hideous sprouting from the earth.... argh

I so far have 2 Christmas cakes baked and fruit for the next soaking in a nice brandy bath, you may think that this a huge unfinished disaster waiting to happen but NO I will not only bake the last few cakes.. .. I will marzipan and ice ALL of them beautifully.. before Christmas...maybe... DEFINITELY!

I am sure I am missing something glaringly obvious that I have recently completed.. if I happen to remember what it is, I will come back and update...

I need to work out what the root to this problem is.... I think it's more than just plain laziness.. I have ideas of grandeur.. a BIG picture of how I want my house to look and I think I am scared to come up short.. scared that even if I put my time and effort into it.. it just won't look as perfect as I want it to... so what do I do.. I live in a completely unperfect state through fear.... GAY!

So those visiting my house in the coming weeks, be prepared to see my house littered with half finished projects as I attempt to finally finish (well at least start) all the things I have dreamt of for so long...

Your Cheating Heart...

Inspired by my blog post earlier this week, several recent conversations with DH, my SIL (who was worried about her DH joining the Air Guard as she thought the military is full of drugs, cheaters and general debauchery - don't worry I set her straight.. I told her she was forgetting the general day to day crap too) and I have another new post to wow you with... definitely!

I think cheating is always somewhere in the back of a girls head when their beloved deploys for any period of time (I mean not the girl cheating obviously, their SPOUSE cheating)... for me it's usually waaaaaaaaaaay in the deep dark depths of my subconscious... apart from this deployment.. and I only have one reason why that may be... it has nothing to do with Josh.. and I can't fathom for any length of time that he actually might do the dirty on me.. for he knows that not only will he feel my wrath, but the wrath of the entire "family"... plus he's a super good guy and 10 naked girls could be throwing themselves at him (his daydream of choice, I'm sure) and he'd still make the right decision (to NOT cheat.. just for clarification!) OK anyways...
It has to do with a completely selfish reason, the same selfish reason (other than the obvious) as to why I wouldn't want him to deploy to anywhere nasty and get himself killed... BECAUSE - I don't want to be a single parent... there I said it.. I put it out in the universe and am letting it freeeeeeee...

I REALLY think that, that is all it comes down to... If DH cheated (and we all know he wouldn't.. I get it.. Thank you) I know I would never be able to forgive him, so of course it would all end in a terrible divorce and I'd end up as a single parent... it's just not for me... my hat absolutely goes off to all the Mums and Dads out there who are doing it for themselves... you seriously deserve a medal, better yet a gin and tonic each night.. but I look at my beautiful Sophia.. and think to myself "if I had to do, what I have done for the last 3 months, everyday by myself,  until you're 18-  I might just commit myself now and save you the trouble later" SERIOUSLY

Being Mummy and Daddy for any period of time is super tough.. we all know that.. and that my friends is why it crazes me to my soul that in the forefront of my mind for the last x number of days is a truly nasty image of my DH with another girl...

I didn't write this blog for you all to send me "don't worry Josh will never cheat" posts, or pity me and my messed up mind... it's just something that has been lingering and I thought I'd put it out there for the masses and the greater good!

Amen, Baby Jesus, a-tish-shoo and please pass the scotch...