Your Cheating Heart...

Inspired by my blog post earlier this week, several recent conversations with DH, my SIL (who was worried about her DH joining the Air Guard as she thought the military is full of drugs, cheaters and general debauchery - don't worry I set her straight.. I told her she was forgetting the general day to day crap too) and I have another new post to wow you with... definitely!

I think cheating is always somewhere in the back of a girls head when their beloved deploys for any period of time (I mean not the girl cheating obviously, their SPOUSE cheating)... for me it's usually waaaaaaaaaaay in the deep dark depths of my subconscious... apart from this deployment.. and I only have one reason why that may be... it has nothing to do with Josh.. and I can't fathom for any length of time that he actually might do the dirty on me.. for he knows that not only will he feel my wrath, but the wrath of the entire "family"... plus he's a super good guy and 10 naked girls could be throwing themselves at him (his daydream of choice, I'm sure) and he'd still make the right decision (to NOT cheat.. just for clarification!) OK anyways...
It has to do with a completely selfish reason, the same selfish reason (other than the obvious) as to why I wouldn't want him to deploy to anywhere nasty and get himself killed... BECAUSE - I don't want to be a single parent... there I said it.. I put it out in the universe and am letting it freeeeeeee...

I REALLY think that, that is all it comes down to... If DH cheated (and we all know he wouldn't.. I get it.. Thank you) I know I would never be able to forgive him, so of course it would all end in a terrible divorce and I'd end up as a single parent... it's just not for me... my hat absolutely goes off to all the Mums and Dads out there who are doing it for themselves... you seriously deserve a medal, better yet a gin and tonic each night.. but I look at my beautiful Sophia.. and think to myself "if I had to do, what I have done for the last 3 months, everyday by myself,  until you're 18-  I might just commit myself now and save you the trouble later" SERIOUSLY

Being Mummy and Daddy for any period of time is super tough.. we all know that.. and that my friends is why it crazes me to my soul that in the forefront of my mind for the last x number of days is a truly nasty image of my DH with another girl...

I didn't write this blog for you all to send me "don't worry Josh will never cheat" posts, or pity me and my messed up mind... it's just something that has been lingering and I thought I'd put it out there for the masses and the greater good!

Amen, Baby Jesus, a-tish-shoo and please pass the scotch...